Working through chaos

I just realized how ridiculous my desk at work is. Right now i have two travel coffee mugs, one actual coffee mug, two water bottles, and two containers that housed my breakfast (plain greek yogurt, fresh strawberries, and organic granola, mmmm)


I reached for my water, only to not know which thing I was reaching for.

Seriously?

I may need help.

Vacation looming

I think Mama T goes on vacation just to remind us how hard is it to be a full time parent. We are going on vacation next week as a family. Our first real family vacation with all of us, Old Lady and Big M included (please reference the post from a few months ago regarding packing and multiply it by 10 as that is how many days were gone). We're not going anywhere all that exciting or glamorous, we're actually just crashing my in-laws cabin in north TN. The in-laws will be there for this weekend, but after that it's just us.

I am very much looking forward to getting away. Away from the alarm clock. Away from work. Away from the house and all the pending projects that we're scraping money to try and finish this year. All of it. Just get out of the house and be somewhere else.

But...

There is no Away from family responsibility. Baby A still needs her regular schedule. She still needs to be fed, several times a day; diapers changed, naps had. The dogs still need walks and meals and playtime too. So a family 'vacation' isn't really a vacation as much as a change of scenery with all the same stuff going on. And what I am concerned about is that, my husband is going to have a wonderfully relaxing week, which he absolutely deserves. He's been working long hours, traveling a lot and is very stressed out. But I'm concerned that I'm not going to get any down time. That I"m going to have to be the single parent while he's relaxing. I'm going to be doing every breakfast, every bath, every nap, every lunch, every play time, all of it and I don't know how to say I don't want to without sounding like, and feeling like, a terrible mother.

I want to look forward to all of the vacation, but part of me is already worn out from just the knowledge that it's 24/7 parenting with no Mama T. I love Mama T. I appreciate her. There are some evenings and occasionally a morning that are so rough, and so whiny that when we get to Mama T's house I practically throw Baby A at her and run to the office. It's not every day, and it's probably not even once a week. But I know that after 10 days of full time mom, I'm going to give Mama T a big hug and yell 'see ya' as I run out of the house.

Just typing all of that makes me feel guilty. I don't want the idea of 10 days with Baby A to stress me out. I want to want to be a stay at home mom. There are even some days where I think I could be. We'll have a fabulous 3 or 4 day weekend. Baby A will be happy and playful and eat great, take nice long naps, with minimal fuss about anything and I'll think 'I could totally do this'. Then, we'll have an evening where I want to tear out my hair because she cries and whines about everything. And then once I'm frustrated with Baby A, my Old Lady knows I'm upset and thinks she's in trouble. So she's now under my feet doing her 'I'm sorry dance' with big eyes and a wiggling butt. Add to that Big M who, seeing Old Lady dancing for attention, comes over and does his own 'me me me' dance and he's the biggest cry baby of all of them. His normal 'talking' mode is a whine. Everything is a whine. He's excited for a walk, he whines. He's hopping around waiting for dinner, he whines. He thinks I've said something fun like, ride, or food, or treat, and his ears perk up and he whines. All of a sudden, I've got three babies all under my feet, whining at me. And this is what I'm going on vacation with.

Maybe I'll just stay home.

Planned Cooking, week 2

I did a really good job last week and so decided to continue the trend. Grocery shopping had to wait until Sunday morning, but, Baby A and I had a great day. I made all her meals for the week as well as a chicken pasta salad that we haven't had in a while and whenever I make it we always say 'we need to make this more!'

2 cooked chicken breasts diced
16 oz pasta
8 oz Italian dressing
8 oz creamy Ceasar dressing
1 green bell pepper diced
1 red bell pepper diced
1 onion diced
1 cup fresh shredded Parmesan
8 oz mozzarella diced.

Mix
Chill
Serve
Done!

It also makes a ton of food and is good for at least two nights worth of dinner and then an additional lunch sized portion.

The next dinner of the week will be done Wednesday and that will be chicken and mushrooms with mozzarella over rice. mmmmmm

Oddly Good, Super Easy, Garlic Bread

I love my Ellie Krieger Cookbook. It's great. There are a few recipes that we haven't really cared for, but overall, it's a great book. Part of the reason I love it is because she gives you menus, not just recipes. It's a meat, vegetable and starch that all go together and are all easy. We tried her garlic bread recipe last night and I was amazed at how good it was, and how easy.

Step 1 - slice bread
Step 2 - lightly coat with olive oil
Step 3 - place under low broiler for 3-4 minutes
Step 4 (this is the neat one) - Remove from broiler. Take a large clove of garlic and rub it vigorously across the oiled side of the bread.
Step 5 - Eat!

The toasted bread serves as a grater for the garlic. Be careful, it's more effective than you realize. The first piece I did ended up a little stronger than I intended it to.

Even my husband was amazed and he gave me a couple of really odd looks as I was scrubbing the bread.

I'm an Aunt!! I'm an Aunt!!

Super excited!! We waited all day yesterday for news. Prego SIL checked into the hospital for a scheduled induction at 6 am yesterday and didn't have their adorable little girl until 9:30 last night!! What a very, very long day!! I can only imagine how exhausting that must be. My little niece is 7 lbs 12 oz with a head full of beautiful dark hair. I can't wait to meet her. We will call her NJ (Niece J).

She is currently in NICU for a heart condition that they discovered during the pregnancy. My poor SIL must be so overwhelmed. It was hard enough when I had Baby A and they took her to the nursery for half a night. SIL doesn't even get to sleep in the same room as her new little girl. NJ also has Down Syndrome, which we were expecting. When the doctors tell you it's a 98% positive on the chromosome test, there really isn't much room to do anything other than expect it. It's going to be such a different learning experience for them than it was for my husband and I. I wonder if, since this is their first, it's almost easier. They don't have a reference. They won't know anything other than NJ and so as much and we had to take raising Baby A one day at a time, so do they.

We're a little worried because NJ does have a fever and is under observation, but the doctors aren't too concerned and think she should be able to go home in a few days. There are lots of tests to do, both for her heart and her DS. Lots of prayers and good thoughts in the next few days.

P.S.  I'm an Aunt, not an Ant. I am not a bug. I do not have 6 legs and ruin picnics. I am an Aunt, as in gaunt but without the g. Just to be perfectly clear.

So far so good.

I made my dinner plan Friday evening. I made my shopping list and Saturday went out with Baby A to buy her first pair of 'walking' shoes. Even though she's not quite walking yet, she's pulling up and cruising the furniture. It's so cute.

I followed my dinner plan for Saturday and Sunday and tonight is 'leftover' night.

Saturday's dinner:
Open Face Chicken Parmesan Sandwiches - So Easy by Ellie Krieger
1 Loaf whole grain bread
4 baked chicken breasts sliced
2 cups fresh spinach
1 cup Marinara
1 cup mozzarella
4 tbs shredded Parmesan

Cut loaf of bread in half and then slice each half lengthwise for 4 sandwiches. Remove some of the insides of the bread to create a 'bowl'. Pour 1/4 cup of Marinara into each sandwich. Top with 1/2 cup spinach, sliced chicken, 1/4 cup mozzarella and 1 tbs parmesan. Broil for 5 minutes or until cheese is bubbling and golden. Do not leave unattended! This doesn't take long to cook.

I left the recipe for Sunday's dinner at home and so will post that later. It came out really well too except for the garlic mashed potatoes that actually tasted like we were going into battle with vampires and needed fortification.

Planned Cooking

I used to be really good at actually planning meals for the week and would spend time each weekend going through cookbooks and making a grocery list. Since Baby A arrived that really hasn't happened much. I think that is mostly because I do the majority of the grocery shopping on Friday afternoon's now, on the way home from work with Baby A. So I make my grocery list Friday morning while at work, in between phone calls and emails. It's a much more abstract list, something along the lines of:

Chicken
Ground Beef
Fish
Veggies
Veggies for Baby A food
Canned Baby A food (for the days I forget to have home made on hand)
Lunch stuff
Coffee
Crackers
etc
etc
etc

But there's no real plan as to what the veggies are, or what I'm going to do with the various assortment of meat and/or fish that I come home with, so during the week, when I'm just trying to make it through until Baby A's bed time, I'm staring into the fridge with no real idea of what's in there and no real plan of what I'm going to make.

Well, today is Friday and would normally be shopping day, but I can't today because my daycare lady, Mama T, had a family emergency this afternoon and I'm going to go play with the kiddos for an hour until the other mom's can get there. So, I"m going to have to go shopping this weekend.

I pledge to create a meal plan for next week, a coordinated grocery shopping list, and know what's for dinner every evening prior to 7 pm when I would otherwise be staring confusedly into the fridge.

Go Team!