We had our vet come out to our house because the vet's office scared Murphy so badly I couldn't stand the idea of bringing him there for his last moments.
The day had started off cloudy and cool but at 11 the sun came out and we spent almost an hour sitting outside with Murphy letting him sniff and enjoy the sun. It was heartbreaking to lose him and the hardest part of being a dog owner but I do feel that it was the right decision, it was his time.
It's been so hard on my husband. Murphy was his buddy and the loss has been rough.
Surprisingly Lizzy hasn't had much reaction at all. I had expected her to be concerned that he wasn't around anymore but she hasn't mentioned it at all and just keeps going like all is normal. I guess when you're two, it is normal.
Ali has also surprised me. She has never been that much of a dog person and both Murphy and our previous dog Maggie were always just background input for her, there, but not that important. When I first told her that Murphy had died, she cried but was mostly confused and kept asking 'so, we don't have a dog anymore?' And was more concerned about the change in the family identity, as one with a dog to one without, than she was about losing Murphy. After a couple days she processed it a bit more and started asking about Murphy more specifically, and saying she missed him and wanted him back.
Four year old's are a tough mix of emotional and literal.
I told her that Murphy had died and gone to heaven. Her response was that she wished heaven wasn't so far away because she missed Murphy and wanted him back. I told her heaven wasn't far, that heaven was in our hearts and Murphy would always be with her. She asked, isn't it dark in there? (i.e. Murphy is in her heart, in a literal sense.) It's awfully hard to cry and laugh at the same time while trying to stay serious with a four year old asking questions about death and heaven.
She asked if I could make a picture for her of Murphy so when she missed him she could look at it. Sometimes it is amazing to me how God puts things in our way. Friday morning getting ready for school, the girls watched a disney show about being homesick and the little girl drew a picture of her family to have with her when she missed them. I told her that was perfect and I would be happy to make a picture of her and Murphy.
We miss you Murphy and will see you again.