Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Parenting with your mouth closed.

I am as guilty as the next person.

I am fully aware of how judgmental I am and how easy it is to draw quick conclusions and make assumptions. It is something I consider a fault and that I work very hard to contain and control.

I am also fully aware of how difficult it is to sit down and shut your mouth when you are so sure that you are right and they are wrong.

It is so difficult. So, very, very difficult.

With that being said; it amazes the daylights out of me how common it is and how many parents can't not give other parents unsolicited and inappropriately delivered advice on what they're doing wrong with their children.

*Disclaimer* I have not had a run in with this recently. In following several other 'mom' blogs on their websites and on facebook, I see it so frequently where they post something, and someone who has 'liked' their page, or 'follows' their blog, takes it as an opportunity to criticize their parenting skills. There are also situations where I find it hard not to comment on the parenting choices made by someone. However, again, contain and control.

In my ever so humble opinion, I consider Parenting to be right in line with Religion and Politics. As long as their belief's don't harm me or anyone else, they are free to do and believe as they wish. It's NONE OF MY BUSINESS. None of yours either.

Now, while I have not had a run in with this recently, we are getting ready to spend a long four day weekend with my husbands family over the Fourth, including his brother and family, with my adorable Niece J.

I don't believe in "attachment parenting."

That's not 100% fair though. I understand the rationale behind it. I do. I, however, have zero ability to have any one/thing/object/person/whatever literally clinging to me every minute of every day with no separation. It is me and I know that. I can't do it. I also don't think it's realistic. I do think it teaches children to demand and expect. That is a different conversation though.

My Niece J is coddled. Extremely. She's not allowed to cry. She's not allowed to fuss. At 9 months old, she  still only naps while being held by my SIL (no one else). She's not expected to entertain herself unless she's staring at animal flash cards on my SIL's ipad. Except that's not really entertaining herself is it?

And I am going to have to keep my mouth shut.

For FOUR days.

Four. Long. Close Quarter. Days.

While pregnant and short tempered.


Wish me luck!

Monday, June 24, 2013

13 Weeks and a Cold

I don't think there's much that's worse then being sick while pregnant. Basically you just have to suffer through. Yes there are a few approved medications but even those the doctors recommend you only take if absolutely necessary. Yesterday I did take Tylenol all day to keep my sore throat from making me completely useless. I may have had a slight fever too but never checked, and stayed medicated for the day anyway. Saturday when I started to really not feel good was right after Baby A's afternoon nap. So, here's a wide awake, happy, playful little girl and a miserable mama. I feel marginally bad about it, but I turned on an episode of Sesame Street and then took a nap on the couch while she watched it and played. She's such a good girl, really. I'm sure there are lots of mom's out there who would never be able to do that and not wake up to a complete disaster. Baby A was fine. She did wake me up a couple of times, but, hey, I'm napping in a room with a two year old, if I wanted silence and deep sleep that wouldn't be the place to get it.

Yesterday was tough too but we had a good morning and just before lunch I took her down to the neighborhood playground for an hour. The timing is important. Before nap time results in screaming child when it's time to leave because now we're overtired. In the middle of wide awake and playful time with no pending meal or nap, ends in the same screaming 'not ready to leave' fit. However, just before a meal, you have a natural ending point.

After about 45 minutes or so of swings and slides (which she goes down all by herself!) I started talking about what we were having for lunch. Mmmm, doesn't that sound good?? Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich with milk and blueberries? Mmmmm. And how about some goldfish?? I have those in the car. Did you want some goldfish? You do! Well, they're in the car, so how about we go hop up into our car seat and you can have some!

Feeling moderately proud of myself. I realize that I shouldn't be bribing my child with food. However, she's not even two yet and if I can get off the swings and into the car willingly and without screaming, I consider that a win.

The afternoon was spent coloring and playing on mama's bed. One of our favorite games, again, because I can doze while she loads the bed with all her toys and dolls and books.

My throat is better today but it's moving into my head and I'm pretty stuffy. My eyes are killing me too. That's probably not cold related and is something more along the lines of a consistent dry eye issue I've been dealing with since last summer. Again, annoying while pregnant because there's very little I can do about it. Most eye drops are not approved for use during pregnancy and while a few are, I was using one last fall when I had my miscarriage. It's probably not at all related. In my head I am completely aware that the likelihood that the eye drops had any small part in losing that baby is minuscule. However, in my heart, I'd rather suffer the eye issue for six more months than take that risk.

What I will probably do is get a bottle of contact solution to use as a rinse. I wore my contacts through my entire pregnancy with Baby A. All contact solution is, is a saline solution, so hopefully that can keep the irritants out and I have my hot compress that I will start doing twice a day. Hopefully that will take care of it for long enough to get through the year.

So, 13 weeks, and a few days. I didn't weigh myself today but I think I'm up to a solid 3 lbs gained. The baby is now the size of a plum. I do love those fruit analogies. It's kind of a fun visual.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Fries with a side of mayonnaise, hold the fries...

I've been resisting all week, but this seems to be a key craving for me. Mayonnaise. I just want the mayonnaise. The fries are good too, but only as the transport for the mayonnaise. Today I made a 'real' sandwich for lunch. Lunch meat is on the 'do not eat' list for pregnant women due to a potential bacterial issue from processed meats in large factories. However, if you heat it up to sizzling, that pretty much takes care of the bacteria issues. It's not fun eating microwaved lunch meat, but if you then put your sandwich in the toaster oven and heat the whole thing, it goes down rather nicely and is a nice change from grilled cheese everyday. This morning, putting my sandwich together, I actually sniffed the mayonnaise jar. And it smelled so good.

I've already had my lunch, but I am very, very tempted to run to the closest fast food drive thru and get a medium fry, with a side of mayonnaise. Mmmmmm. I'm not even all that hungry right now. I just want it.

I know it's not healthy, but I feel mildly justified because when I was pregnant with Baby A I couldn't stop eating Big Macs. I could probably have eaten two at each sitting. I don't have the Big Mac craving, but wow do I want some fries with mayo. No ketchup. Just mayo.

We'll see how well I hold up. I don't think I'll last long.

Friday, June 14, 2013

12 weeks & Baby Dreams

So, when I was pregnant with Baby A I started having dreams pretty early that I was going to have a girl and  once those started I also started seeing little signs everywhere that it was going to be a girl. So it really wasn't any surprise to me when we had our sonogram that the technician said 'girl.'

Up until last night, I hadn't had any gender dreams of this new baby, although I've had lots of crazy dreams and lots of baby related dreams. But last night I had my first one where I was at the hospital and picked up my new baby for the first time.

And it was a boy.

I'm not 100% in my gut about it yet, but I've had a few inklings toward boy for a couple weeks now. I just wasn't sure, and still am not, that it was a real instinct or if it was due to a few friends giving their opinion on what I'm having.

Time will tell of course, but, it is interesting that the first gender dream for this pregnancy is that it's a boy.

Today is 12 weeks. Officially the end of my first trimester. Still tired. Back still hurts. Still can't stand chicken or pork. But, definitely feeling better. Maybe it's all mental.

First trimester weight gain comes in officially at 2.5 lbs. Pretty happy about that! Hopefully only 27.5 lbs to go!

Happy Friday everyone!

Thursday, June 13, 2013

No soup for you!

Last night I put Baby A to bed without dinner. Nothing. No milk, no dinner, no nothing.

This has been an increasing battle between the two of us. My husband does not have the level of issue that I do with her and eating. She's not perfect with him, but significantly better than with me, where she is basically  a screaming mess at every meal. Unless it's a peanut better and jelly sandwich, or a grilled cheese, those she'll eat without complaint.

Every other meal, she's twisting to get out of her seat, pushing the spoon away, throwing food off her tray, turning her head when I try to give her a bite, crying, screaming, shaking her head, the whole nine.

It's not really a consistent cause either.

Occasionally it's whatever I prepared for dinner, however, I don't introduce a lot of new stuff anymore, she eats about everything we do and has very few things that she doesn't care for. I still offer her those every once in a while, but I don't push the issue when I know it's something she's not a big fan of.

Sometimes it's that she doesn't like the spoon I gave her.

Sometimes it's that she wants her milk first. But if I let her drink her milk, she fills up on that and won't eat her dinner. If I put a small amount in her cup, she'll drain that, and then play with her sippy cup, not eating, so I take the cup away, and then it's instant tantrum.

Last night it was because she wanted to only eat the sweet potato and was trying to pick the green beans and steak off the spoon, which I, of course, wouldn't let her do. So, she screamed, and that was the end of dinner. I sat her down an hour later to eat. She shook her head, turned away from the spoon, and that was it. Dinner was done and she went straight to bed at 7:20 (her normal bedtime has been closer to 8).

I know some of this has to do with my patience levels, or lack thereof, due to pregnancy. I am not an overly patient person to begin with, pregnancy makes me very irritable and Baby A is really pushing my buttons lately.

This is a level of acting out that is very new, although it's been growing for a while. The last few weeks have been pretty bad. I'll get maybe two dinners out of 7 without screaming.

I also know, that some of this has to do with Baby A's growing sense of independence and wanting to do things herself, or at the very least, not wanting me to do them for her. I get that. I do. It's fair. But when she's been in her high chair for 20 minutes and has taken 3 bites, I just don't know what to do. So I sit down and start feeding her. Sometimes it goes well, most times lately, it doesn't. And again, I am so, SO short tempered these days that I can't handle her fits. I just start screaming back at her. Later I wish I had handled it differently, but I just can't stop myself at the time.

To be honest, it's not just meal times. Everything is a battle lately.

Getting dressed in the morning is a battle.

Doing her hair is a battle.

Going into the grocery store and not getting a cart for her to sit in, is a battle. All I needed was a gallon of milk. I just wanted to walk in and walk out. She pitched a fit at the entrance. Pitched a fit throughout the store when I refused to pick her up and carry her (my back was really bothering me that day). And then threw the mother of all tantrums in the middle of the parking lot. Of course. Where there was a police officer parked. Of course.

I don't actually worry about the other people seeing me or her mid tantrum. She's little, little kids throw tantrums. I think most people get that. When parents ignore it and let a child scream unattended in the stores, that's when most people have an issue. When a parent is correcting a behavior, and I don't mean beating their child in the middle of the store, but when they're obviously making an effort, successfully or not, most people have a little sympathy and realize we're doing our best. Really though, the police officer sitting in his car, three spots away, rattled me a bit.

I really hate that I put Baby A down last night without dinner. But she never woke up crying in the middle of the night, and once I put her in her crib, even though it was early, she calmed down and sang herself to sleep like normal. She was ravenous this morning and ate her entire bowl of oatmeal, extra milk and was still asking for more. So, basically, she's not going to starve to death if she has to miss dinner and maybe she'll figure out that screaming = no food. I'm hoping she figures it out pretty quickly because I feel really guilty about the whole thing, even though I still feel like I'm right in my actions.

Sometimes, it just sucks being a mom.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Great Weekend, Rough Morning

We had a fabulous time at the zoo. It was the perfect weather for it, low 70's overcast and comfortable. We got there just as the zoo opened and it was so uncrowded that we were able to let the little girls walk around on their own. Baby A pretty much walked through the whole zoo, almost two hours worth. That early in the morning and a lot of the animals were out and moving too. The tigers were pacing right in front of the exhibit window's looking like they were about to eat the kids. The monkeys were running around and the panda was putting on a great show, again just in front of the exhibit glass. Rolling around, scratching, playing, Baby A loved the pandas. Wasn't crazy about the tiger, I think she knew he wanted to eat her, but the pandas were pretty cool. We also got to the giraffe exhibit just in time for lunch at 11:30, it was the last stop we had on the way out. Apparently for $35 or so, you can feed the giraffes, which i don't feel the need to do, but those big boys know what time lunch is and they come right up to the viewing area and hang their heads over the side waiting for someone to hand them something yummy. Again, Baby A wasn't too sure about them. They were very tall. I think she liked the panda's because rolling around on the floor, they looked a lot like Big M does when he's playing.

We then had dinner with my cousin and my aunt who was in town visiting. And on Sunday went to the lake for a walk and then after a good nap went up the hill to play with Little A (chubbs) where I told W&A that we're pregnant. They were so thrilled. I'm fairly sure they're a one and done crew and Little A doesn't have a younger sibling on her horizon, so having her be right in the middle of our two is really exciting for them. Baby A will be not quite two and a half, and Little A will be a few months shy of two years old.

This morning, revisit of the morning sickness and fabulous round of screaming from Baby A over whether or not she was going to eat her oatmeal. It was a rough morning. I hate getting up so early. I am normally a morning person and I can jump out of bed at anytime, be ready and moving with no issues. These days, I can barely drag myself out and spend the rest of the day wishing I could crawl back in. I'm so, so tired.

Hopefully Baby A will have a great day with Mama T, she'll get a couple good naps in and be a happy, cheerful girl for dinner. Or maybe I make a box of mac n cheese and give in to the toddler demands because I'm just too tired to care...if only there wasn't the guilt that went with it.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

11 Weeks

Technically tomorrow is 11 weeks, but tomorrow I will be at the Zoo with Baby A and several of my mom friends with their little ones! I'm so excited! I real mommy play date and outing.

So, thought I'd get my weekly preggo post done a day early.

Today I am very sore from yesterday's fall. My right hip and shoulder are not happy. Again, I did take a Tylenol this morning to try and quiet some of the complaining.

Mostly I'm just tired. Very tired. I went back to bed this morning for about half an hour. I got up at 5:15 like normal to walk the dogs, but 5 minutes down the road it started raining on us, so we came back. I fed them and then crawled back into bed. When my husband came in at 6 to brush his teeth before leaving I pried myself out to actually start my day. I did feel better after that but I'm still just so worn out. On Sunday I put Baby A down for a morning nap that she didn't need, because I needed one. Fortunately she doesn't mind and played quietly in her crib for a while. She did eventually fall asleep for a short nap, but she probably would have been fine without one.

I've been having food issues too. I forget if I mentioned that already. Currently, I can't eat chicken, pork or broccoli without throwing up. Just thinking about those foods makes my stomach roll. It's terrible. I had this issue with Baby A and had hoped to avoid it with this pregnancy but, no such luck. So, I've been on a beef diet. Not a ton of veggies either right now. There are very few that are appealing. I can eat raw veggies though, it's the cooked version that I seem to have the most trouble with. I should eat more salads. It just sounds like so much work to make though.

11 weeks
130.4 lbs (2 lbs gained)
Fatigue, food aversions, fatigue (yes, it belongs there twice)

Tomorrow - to the zoo!!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Backaches and Bruises

Part of our remodel process included the guest bathroom, which, besides the master bath, is the only other bathtub in the house. It is currently out of service. The tile is done but we need the plumber to come back and finish installing the new fixtures, which apparently requires welding. Why it can't just screw back on, I don't know, but it can't. The discussion as of yesterday was that my husband thought he could do it and save us the money. He would attempt to tackle it this weekend, i.e. 4-5 more days without use of that tub, assuming all goes well.

So I've been giving Baby A a bath in our master bathtub which is actually a Jacuzzi whirlpool tub that is about 30 years old, not overly functional and really, really deep. Not only is it really deep, it's two steps up from the floor. So in order to bathe Baby A, I have to kneel on one of the steps and lean way over into the tub to try and wash her. The other option is to bring her into the shower with me, which I am happy to do, but she has to be awake in time for that. During the weekdays, she isn't always up and I hate waking her earlier than I absolutely have to. With my back hurting me the last week or so, bending over that tub just wasn't an option and Baby A didn't wake up until after I had showered this morning. So, I ran the water and decided the solution was to get into the tub with her.

All went well until I got out of the tub. I took one step down from the tub and my foot went right out from under me. I slid the rest of the way to floor, landing on my right side/back. Fortunately I missed hitting my back on the first step and went straight to the bathroom floor. I think if I had hit the step I would have been much worse off.

Thankfully, thankfully, I did not take Baby A out of the tub with me. I had thought about it, and decided that pregnant with a sore back, I should get out on my own and then get her. I can't imagine having had her in my arms when I hit that floor. Mostly I'm ok. I'm sore and it made an already tired day just a little worse.

I hate taking medicine when I'm pregnant unless I have to, but I did take one Tylenol this morning to try and help calm down everything that was complaining in my back and hip after the fall.

When I got to work I emailed my husband, told him what happened and that I would prefer we call the plumber and get the guest bathtub functional sooner rather than later.

I am ready for this week to be over.