Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Today's Perspective

Baby A is 18 months old today. I find that amazing. Wonderful and sad and crazy all at the same time. Wonderful that she is growing and learning. Sad that she's really not a baby any more. Crazy that it's gone by so quickly.

Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself that these days are fleeting. I get into such a routine that each day goes by without too much thought and I don't want to fall so far into that routine that I stop seeing what's around me.

I don't want to stop seeing my husband and all the reasons I love him just because there are moments where we argue and disagree.

I don't want to stop seeing and enjoying the changes in Baby A just because there are times that are challenging and frustrating.

I don't want to stop seeing me either. That's the hardest part, the easiest one to lose. The one I find is most frequently missing from my view.

Right now though I feel like I need to see my husband a little clearer, more honestly and openly in my own heart. I feel like I'm looking through him and losing him into the routine that I expect him to be in instead of seeing where he really is.

I"m starting a new book today called Love & Respect. The reviews are all very good and I'm interested to see how it is. I feel like I need a better view on my marriage and my relationship with my husband. I have such a defensive and frequently combative nature that sometimes I worry that I push him too much.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Cookie Hoarding

I am a bad liar. I've never really been sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it is very true. I am a terrible liar and my husband knows this. He not only knows it but takes advantage of it. He frequently guesses what his Birthday or Christmas presents are, because he goes through a rambling inventory of things that I could possibly have gotten him and as soon as he hits the right one, he knows. Every time. No matter what I say. Even if i say 'yep that's it' to every single thing he mentions, he always knows when he gets to the actual one. He's such a stinker.

I hoard cookies, specifically Girl Scout Cookies, more specifically, Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies. mmmmmmmm. My husband runs marathons, there is no fat on him and he eats dessert every night. During the winter months it is Oreo cookies. During the summer it's ice cream. If I happen to forget to pick up a weather appropriate dessert item, he has been knows to go out to the store at 9 pm to purchase the dessert item. The day is not complete without either cookies or ice cream. So, Girl Scout Cookie season is one of his favorite times of year. This particular year I happened to be out of the house when our local scout stopped by to take orders. My husband very willingly filled in and ordered 8 boxes of cookies. Not too crazy, two of each of the 'main' flavors; Thin Mint, Tagalong, Do Si Do and Samoa. That's great. Pretty close to what I would have ordered.

The difference is, when I order the cookies, my husband doesn't know how many boxes are showing up. So, if I were to, let's just say, order 3 boxes of Thin Mints and take one to work so I can snack at my leisure  he would never know about that mysterious box #9. I don't do this for the purpose of hiding cookies from my husband. I do this for the purpose of getting more than two or three cookies from a box before it's gone. When he sits down to eat cookies, he eats cookies. We go through a full package of Oreos in a week and I don't have any. He eats the whole thing.

So as it happens, one of the other mom's at Baby A's daycare is a troop leader and for the last two years I have placed my sister's order through them so I'm spreading the cookie love to all the scouts equally. This year after receiving our regular order from the girl in our neighborhood I realized my dilemma. So I emailed the mom from daycare and ordered two extra boxes for myself. They had been in my car and are now safely stashed at work. All of this would have been fine and never hit the husband cookie radar if I had any common sense. But clearly, I don't.

The other night my husband sat down after dinner with a box of Tagalongs which happens to be one of the two 'extra' boxes that I had purchased secretly. I walk by and take two at which point he grumbled and this is how the rest of the evening went:

Husband: my cookies.

Me: No they're not, they're my cookies.

Husband: No, I bought them, they're my cookies. I bought 8 boxes, they're mine.

Me: That's MY box of cookies, that's box #9 that I bought for....


Husband: Where are the extra cookies.


Husband: Where are the extra cookies.

Me: I don't know what you're talking about.

Husband: Where are the extra cookies.

Husband: Where are the extra cookies.

The whole rest of the night. Every 5 minutes.

Husband: Where are the extra cookies.

Damn it.

Thankful Post #8 - A Good Dentist

This week I am thankful that Baby A's teeth are ok. They're broken and until she starts losing the baby teeth she'll have her little vampire fangs, but her mouth is ok. The dentist did an x-ray just to make sure the roots weren't damaged and gave us the thumbs up. Both my sister and I have had dental fixes and my sister's front teeth are permanently damaged with root distress. So all things considered, if Baby A was going to fall and crack her teeth, these were the ones to break and apparently it's actually better that they break rather than just get hit. When the baby teeth just get hit, that's when there's more likely to be root damage, discoloration and potential damage to the adult teeth coming in behind it. Who knew!?

I am very thankful that she's ok and hopefully in a few months I won't even see the broken teeth when she smiles at me.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Early Tooth Fairy

Baby A fell last week and broke her two front teeth. Uggghhh. It hurts my heart every time she smiles, which is a terrible, terrible thing to say!

They're not gone and they probably aren't even all that bad, unless you're her mother. The inside corners of the two top teeth broke diagonally starting about half way down the tooth and almost all the way across. What really gets me is when she does a little half smile and all you can see are the outside points. It looks like she has fangs.

It happened at Mama T's and when she fell she cut her lip big time. Bled everywhere and it took a hour to get it under control. Mama T didn't want me to worry and so once the bleeding had stopped, and Baby A was fine, she didn't call me. She also didn't notice the broken teeth. To be fair, I didn't notice the broken teeth until I was getting her ready for bed and had her laid down on the changing table. But we were leaving town at noon the next day and so by the time we noticed it, had no way to get her into a dentist before we left. My husband was a little upset about that, rightly so.

Anyway, we have a dentist appointment for Friday so they can be looked at to make sure everything is ok. My husband wants to get them fixed. I am torn and don't know what I want. It really does make me cringe every time she smiles. My eyes go to her teeth instead of her eyes. I know that I will probably get used to it and eventually stop seeing it, but right now it's all I see. However, the idea of putting my 18 month old daughter under general anesthesia to fix two broken baby teeth that are going to fall out in a few years anyway, makes me very, very uncomfortable and nervous. I don't think anesthesia is anything you do more than absolutely necessary and especially so on children. There are too many risks. I'm definitely going to go with the recommendation from the dentist and when he says not to fix them, and my husband gets upset, I will point at the dentist and say 'he said so' while probably feeling very relieved that I don't have to make the decision.

Right now, I'm just happy that she's fine. She's my little trooper and just keeps on smiling.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Thankful Post #7 - In laws

We spent this past weekend with my in laws up at their cabin in Northern Tennessee. It is always nice to see them but it's amazing how relaxing it can be to have my Mother in Law around to watch Baby A for a bit. I get to take a shower by myself. Get dressed without chasing Baby A around or have to stop drying my hair so I can read a book.

I can go take a nap during the day and not worry about if Baby A is interrupting my husband's current project, or if he can calm her down when she starts fussing. I know my MIL is perfectly capable of deal with Baby A.

My FIL just melts over her and chases her around with a camera. It's so nice to get away from our house and not think or worry about anyway. The dogs all play and Baby A soaks up all the attention.

I am very, very lucky to have in laws that I truly love and trust and who make life easier instead of more challenging.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Workplace Peepshow

Happy Valentine's Day.  The husband is on a work trip so it was a quiet morning, and a late morning. Didn't make it to work until 8:20 because when the husband is gone, I turn off the alarm clock. You'd think I'd learn.

Anyway, this morning I decided to wear a pretty sweater that my husband had got me a couple years ago with a skirt and tights since it's below 40 out right now and bare legs didn't seem like a good idea. I ran around the house for a solid 15 to 20 minutes in this outfit getting everything ready to go (managed to forget Baby A's lunch today, lovely) and never had an issue with the outfit.

An hour into the work day and I have come to the realization that the skirt and tights are not compatible. So I will now spend the rest of the day adjusting my rising skirt and attempting to walk without moving my thighs so I will not put on a rather inappropriate show at the office.

At least until we make it to 45 degrees, then the tights are gone. Until then it's a Happy Valentine's Day Peepshow!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

How many months??

I had a very 'feeling dumb' moment yesterday.

My husband's company offers a program for daycare reimbursement where we have money set aside pre-tax and then reimbursed back to us throughout the year. Technically it saves us money, realistically it just makes his take home check smaller. Yesterday I pre-filled out the forms for reimbursement for the year. Just like I did last year. Not for any good reason, just so it’s done. So I’m filling out the section that says Age of Dependent, and I start in January at Baby A's age last month, 17 months. I make it all the way to August, where I write in 2 Years Old. And then I stop. Because I don’t know how to continue. 25 months? 2 years and one month? Or do I just say 2 from now on, maybe until February 2014 where I should start saying 2.5 years old. So, after thinking about this way too long, without coming up with a decision, I feel dumb, for not having a decision, and having spent too much time thinking about it.

So I thought I’d share.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Sew Important II

Recently my mother and I have been having Friday afternoon quality time which has really been wonderful. It started just after Christmas where she and my sister got me a sewing kit and a pattern and material to make Baby A an outfit. Considering my lack of sewing abilities and general envy towards those who can and do, kind of a cool gift.

I typically work half a day on Friday's, leave at noon and pick up Baby A, grocery shop for the following week and make it home in time for her afternoon nap. So my mother has been coming over just after lunch and by the time I get home with the groceries and Baby A, she has started a load of laundry and has usually started a few other chores. We put Baby A down for her nap and mom and I clean for an hour. Between the two of us, we can get the house dusted, vacuumed, picked up and bathrooms done pretty quickly all while switch over loads of laundry. Then we have a sewing lesson and then we watch the previous night's episode of Project Runway.

I am very proud to say I made pants for Baby A! And they fit her (mostly, they're a little long, but still)! It's very exciting!

We are currently working on a matching jacket. Not just a jacket, a LINED jacket. I will admit I"m a little overwhelmed by it but, one step and a time and it's coming together pretty well.

Project Runway here I come!!!

Thankful Post #6 - Close Family

This week I am thankful for having family close by.

My parents are about 30 minutes away and we see them regularly. My mother frequently spends Friday afternoons helping me around the house during Baby A's afternoon nap. It's a huge help to get the cleaning and laundry out of the way so that I can spend the weekend actually enjoying Baby A. My dad has helped on several home projects. My mom has babysat for us on numerous occasions and on days where Baby A has been sick but I still had to work. It's a huge help and a huge blessing to have them near by. I am so very thankful for all that they do to help us.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Baby Huffing?

Baby A huffs wet wipes. I have no idea why. It's the strangest thing. She holds it up to her nose and sniffs repeatedly and deeply. It's so odd. After a while, 30 minutes or so, she'll shred it and stuff the pieces in between the couch cushions. That I feel is a much more normal baby activity. She stuffs all kinds of things in between the cushions. Magnets, puzzle pieces, paper towel pieces, etc. That's just where things go. Fine. But huffing the baby wipes for 20 or 30 minutes first is just a little odd. In my humble opinion anyway.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Thankful post #5 - Our home

This week I am thankful for our home.

Last week we had a full day of torrential downpours and, as per usual, we ended up with a basement full of water. It's been a three year battle against flooding in the basement and my husband threw a particularly spectacular, albeit well deserved, fit about the house and all it's issues. And it does have many.


With all it's faults, its our first home together. It's the house we brought Baby A home to from the hospital. It is where we will eventually bring our next child home to. It is where we fall asleep every night and wake up every morning. It is where we hosted our first Christmas. It is where Baby A had her first Birthday. We have spent so much time and money working to fix the many issues and update the things that need to be updated that it is occasionally hard to see all the love that is there too.

I do love our house. I love the kitchen updates we've done. I love the wooded backyard where, when the leaves are out you can't see any of our neighbors and it feels so private and secluded. I love my massive laundry room and all the potential for the space there (that we haven't had the money to do anything about yet, but we'll get there). I love Baby A's bedroom. I am excited for the new flooring which will be going into the main floor soon. Almost the entire first floor will be redone and will be so wonderful.

There are a lot of times that it is overwhelming, having purchased a 'fixer upper' and having so many things that need fixing upping. But when a project is finally finished, and we can stand back and look at what we've accomplished, it's wonderful. It's ours.