Baby A is 18 months old today. I find that amazing. Wonderful and sad and crazy all at the same time. Wonderful that she is growing and learning. Sad that she's really not a baby any more. Crazy that it's gone by so quickly.
Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself that these days are fleeting. I get into such a routine that each day goes by without too much thought and I don't want to fall so far into that routine that I stop seeing what's around me.
I don't want to stop seeing my husband and all the reasons I love him just because there are moments where we argue and disagree.
I don't want to stop seeing and enjoying the changes in Baby A just because there are times that are challenging and frustrating.
I don't want to stop seeing me either. That's the hardest part, the easiest one to lose. The one I find is most frequently missing from my view.
Right now though I feel like I need to see my husband a little clearer, more honestly and openly in my own heart. I feel like I'm looking through him and losing him into the routine that I expect him to be in instead of seeing where he really is.
I"m starting a new book today called Love & Respect. The reviews are all very good and I'm interested to see how it is. I feel like I need a better view on my marriage and my relationship with my husband. I have such a defensive and frequently combative nature that sometimes I worry that I push him too much.