How can you not know?

This is the question that has plagued me since yesterday morning. How can someone not know what is going on in their own house. Which is a stupid question, things go on everyday in thousands of houses with people either purposefully or ignorantly blind to the truth.

Mama T's legal battles are still just beginning. Max's father has chosen to file a civil suit against Mama T with a homicide charge. Willful negligence.

I don't think Max's mom knows. I think she thinks this is a battle with the insurance company to cover the hospital changes, which was never an issue. The insurance company contacted their lawyer within days after Max's death with a settlement. A 1.5 million dollar settlement. That Max's rather turned down to pursue the civil charge against Mama T and go after her personally. I don't think Max's mother has a clue.

And I can't say a word. It isn't my place. It's not my family, it's not my business, it's not my place to tell her what her husband is doing.

How do I do this?

I feel like my conversations with her are awkward and it's in my head the whole time.

How can you not know??

Yesterday I told her we all visited with Mama T last week and the kids got to see her for the first time since that day. She responded that she was so glad we were able to visit with her, that she hopes Mama T can find peace and joy and a new purpose in life. That she feels so bad that such a terrible thing happened to such a kind woman who's spent her whole life doing the right things.

That doesn't sound like the response of someone who knows her husband is suing Mama T and is likely going to cause Mama T to lose her house and likely have to declare bankruptcy.

I hate this whole thing. I hate all of it. Part of me wants to wall up myself against everyone involved and just shut them out. Not listen, not deal. I can't do that though. I can't remove myself from people that I care about and leave them to go through this without me. I need them as much as they need me and we all need to hold each other up through this.

I think it's the helpless feeling that is the hardest to deal with. I can't do anything. I can't help in a tangible way. All I can do is be there to listen and support. And then I go back to my house, which no one is going to take. And I hug my girls, who are happy and healthy. And I say a prayer of thanks for everything I have because that's all I know how to do.