I'm not sure what it is. But I have not had a good week.
I have not been on time once.
I have left the house in the morning annoyed and yelling at the girls.
I have walked in the house in the evening annoyed and yelling at the girls.
I am snippy at work.
I'm snippy at everyone.
I've been exercising all week.
Eating really well.
Reading a few chapters of the Proverbs section of the bible most nights, which I am enjoying and finding extreme calmness in.
And praying a lot.
Which is weird. For me anyway.
But really, a lot. Each time I find myself yelling at the girls. I walk away and say a small prayer. This morning I prayed all the way to school. And then all the way to work.
I feel like I should be having a really good week. My muscles are sore from the new exercise program. I'm rested. I started taking my immune boosting supplement that I had to stop while pregnant and finally feel like I'm 100% back from that nasty cold we all had over Christmas.
I can feel the edges of panic creeping in on me right now.
Panic at what? I have no idea.
Right now I just keep telling myself to make it to this weekend. We have nothing planned this weekend.
I need to spend some time catching up with myself and my girls. I need to get some organization back.
My mornings have felt like a scramble, even though they shouldn't have been.
I need to have a better plan.
I need to have a few days where I don't have to be anywhere.
I need to figure out how to calm down.