Thursday, October 17, 2013

Stages of pregnancy

Just my two cents.
Whoohoo! We're pregnant!

whoo (pause to vomit) hoo, we're pregnant!

whoo (pause to vomit, take a nap, vomit again) who's idea was this?

 Pregnant schmegnant, I got this.

Hey, my pants don't button, cool.

No! don't touch the boobies!

WTF - I'm already in maternity clothes?

Hey, maternity pants are awesome.

Why the hell won't maternity pants stay put?

Wow, what's that little tickle in my belly?

Hey, there's a heel poking me! Cool!

Holy shit kid, stop kicking me.

WTF - I just sneezed and peed my pants.

So, these braxton hicks things just keep coming, don't they?

Go ahead, say something about my size, I dare you.

How many weeks left??

Ugghh, we have 10 weeks to go??

Ahh!! we only have 10 weeks left??

I'm so excited to hold my new baby!

Holy shit. What were we thinking?

Then you can just keep alternative those last four, counting down the weeks until you get to:

I. Am. SO. Over. This.

And then you have a beautiful baby after 12 or so hours of pain and torture.

Again, just my two cents.

1 comment:

  1. Well said!! I can definitely relate to every one of the things you said. Love it!