If I ignore it, it won't happen, right?

It breaks my heart. I can't believe it's almost here and I'm realizing I can't hide from it. I want to. I have been.  I have purposely not thought about it and cringed when others brought it up.

My baby is going to be a year old. It's so close. Three weeks and five days. My baby is going to be a year old.

How do I stop this??? I want to keep her little, I want her to always fit in my lap. Always grin at me with her nose wrinkled up and tiny little baby teeth flashing at me.

At the baby shower last weekend there was another mom who's little boy is a week older than Baby A. I asked her if she was having serious emotional issues with her baby turning one. She just looked at me with wide, wide eyes and nodded.

And then I feel guilty for not thinking about it, not having a plan yet for a party, or gifts, or anything. So with a big sigh of resignation at the acceptance that my precious, tiny, beautiful baby girl is growing up far to fast, I have at the very least come up with a day and a theme for her party and will start to put the details together this week.

We will be having a tea party for her birthday. My little Baby A in our own personal Wonderland. Maybe I should dress up the dogs, tweedle dee and tweedle dum? Mad hatter and the door mouse? This could get funny.