Monday, August 6, 2012

'will' you?

It's another week of travel for my husband, so it's just me, Baby A and the dogs. Hubby actually left for the airport yesterday afternoon, so I spent the rest of Sunday making baby food for the week and packing lunches ahead of time. I was in bed at 10 last night and got up at 5 this morning. Did about 25 minutes of yoga, showered, hair, got Baby A up, fed, walked dogs, fed dogs, did makeup, curled hair, dressed and out the door by 7:30. I really wanted to be out before 7:25, that's my 'on time' cut off. 7:30 is 5 minutes late, but, over all I think we did pretty well.

I had a FANTASTIC weekend! I had a manicure (can't tell you when the last one was) a pedicure (first since January), eyebrow wax (also since about January), hair cut (last one was May and I didn't like it), bought a new sundress (for Baby A's birthday party), found a really great Chianti at Trader Joe's for $6.00 a bottle and we all had lunch with our two best friends and their baby girl. After the pampering Saturday afternoon I really felt like a new person. It was so needed. I fed Baby A her lunch and handed her off to my husband saying I'd be back in a few hours. It was so needed.

This happens every time and it cracks me up. I chopped my hair off, it's probably 4 or 5 inches shorter than it was on Friday when I left work. Why does everyone have to ask 'Did you get your hair cut?' Um, no, I just woke up like this...???

We had an interesting thing happen at lunch with our friends on Sunday. My husband met W and his then soon to be wife, during their graduate program. They've known each other for years, I married into the friendship and they are truly some of the best people on the planet. They moved to GA and bought their house before my husband ended up here and after we got married, we loved their house and the neighborhood so much, we bought a house down the street. We are literally less than a mile apart. Their little girl is 7 months younger than our Baby A. Yesterday they asked us to be the beneficiary on their will and guardians of their daughter should anything happen to them. I was amazed. It never occurred to me that we were that high up on their list. We haven't had a chance to talk about it yet since my husband left for the airport directly after lunch, but I really feel honored that they would entrust us with their child. It got me thinking about the fact that we haven't done a will yet. We kept talking about it before Baby A was born and then once she was here, we got lost in the parenting part and the will discussion hadn't resurfaced. It also got me thinking about who we would want to raise Baby A should anything happen to both of us. That's a really hard decision. Our friend W has a sister who has a baby boy, is happily married and she and her husband make serious money. They'd be very capable of taking care of W and wife's baby, but they chose us instead. The sister knows, and everyone says  it's all good. But who's feelings are hurt and who's not saying? But, this can't be a decision made based on who's feelings are going to be hurt, this is your child and their best interest. When I really started thinking about it, my sister really isn't high on the list either, she lives in Germany, she's single, she still parties most weekends and while she's really great at babysitting and playing, singing songs, etc, I don't know that she'd be the best one to raise Baby A. My husbands older sister, also in that same boat, except for the Germany part. She's a little more local, but a little flighty, a little hippy. She can't train her dog. I wouldn't rest easy knowing she'd be responsible for my child. My husband's brother and wife (the very pregnant SIL) would probably be a consideration, but again, I just don't know. They're very different from us, they're going to have a child with Down Syndrome and their plate is going to be very full without any additional burdens. Would they even want to be on the list? What about our parents? They're grandparents now, by the time Baby A is in high school they'll be in their late 70's and 80's. Is it fair to ask them to become parents again?

There's a lot for my husband and I to discuss when he gets back at the end of the week. I feel like it would appear we were trying to reciprocate without true consideration, but I think W and his wife really are at the top of our list too, for a lot of the same reasons they gave us. Our children are going to grow up together, they're going to be in the same grade, they're going to go to the same church, be part of the same Sunday classes, etc, etc. They'll practically be siblings. Why wouldn't we want them to care for Baby A if something happened to us?

"Will" you?

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