Every now and then I think of a friend I used to have. I realize that statement sounds rather ominous and no, nothing serious happened to her. She just became a mom. And lost herself. It's probably one of the things that drives me the most batty. Parents who get so lost in their child that they can't maintain their own lives and friendships. She lived about a mile and half from me, a three minute drive and she never, ever came to see me when I had Baby A. I would call and try to set up visits and she wouldn't answer, and wouldn't return phone calls and finally when I did get something scheduled, I was taking my 8 week old baby to her house because it was inconvenient for her to leave with her 2 and a half year old son. As I was walking out the door to make the 3 minute drive, she called to cancel and said I should call her next week and we'll try to plan something else.
So we went 6 months without talking because I refused to pick up the phone and call her.
I had two belly bands that I borrowed from her during my pregnancy and wanted to return them, but knew she was never going to call me on her own, so I mailed them. She lives three minutes from me, I put those suckers in a manila envelope and mailed them. She called me then.
She had no idea why I was so upset. She then invited me to her sons 3rd birthday party, which was the following week. On a Thursday. At noon. She knows I work. I haven't been invited to parties one or two, but she thought it was ok to throw an invite at me over the phone after realizing I'm upset that she's been such a shitty friend.
I told her that was crap and that clearly I couldn't make it, I work during the day.
We haven't spoken since and I just realized that it's been a full year. I frequently miss her. Before she was a mom she was an awesome friend. She went shoe shopping with me to find the perfect fabulous heels for my wedding.
Ever since she lost her mind when she had her son, I was adamant that when I became a mom I would not do the same thing to my friends. Mostly I think we've done a good job. We have a couple sets of friends that we see on a fairly regular basis. W&A are easy because they're in the same neighborhood and less than a mile from our house. Two of our other friends are a little harder because they work and live downtown. I do stay in touch with them, but it's harder to schedule visits and play dates.
Well, this summer I have taken the initiative to set up some fun trips for all of us and find some things to do around Atlanta. My mommy partners in crime and I will be heading to the Atlanta Zoo the first Friday in June for the morning to let our rompers romp til they drop! I am super excited, partly just to go to the zoo because I love it, and partly because I really want to put as much effort into my friendships as I do the other facets of my life.